"I have a secret crush on one of my co-workers. Christmas is on the horizon and I’m thinking I’d like to get her an intimate gift of some kind, most likely lingerie. It’ll be anonymous, obviously — I don’t know if I’m quite ready to make such a bold statement of intent. So, is this in bad taste?"

"Observational humor is egalitarian — it welcomes all audience members into your set, because everyone can relate. Sometimes, however, it’s too relatable, as Jerry Seinfeld (the observational king) found out last Friday during a sold-out show at the Orpheum. Twice he was interrupted by audience members who wanted to comment on his funny observations. The first time, Seinfeld wasn’t even telling a joke — he was simply commenting on the fact that he had tiny carrot bits stuck in his teeth from earlier in the night. One guy yelled out, “Tell us more about the carrots!” The second time, he had just finished a hilarious bit about iPhones when someone yelled out, “I wanna see your phone!” To which Seinfeld replied: “I didn’t bring the phone … because I thought I’d be a little busy.” Zing! Let the man tell his jokes, people."

"Well, I have worked with a lot of designers in my day and I am of the opinion that if you are confident in your abilities to meet my expectations then being paid at the end would be fine with you. Ultimately you are paid for the end result, right? I shouldn’t have to pay you for ‘making the effort’."